Just let the ocean wave inside your soul

2-11-2011 ----- Wednesday - Just let the ocean wave inside your soul




Hi everyone,
Today I woke up in the morning and like usually, I was having a tough moment of true despair and panic feelings. So I decided today, to take a day off and just relax. I know, I know, school is important for me. But it is wisely brought to me by a lot of people to tell me 'It's not a wonder if you have some bad days after three years of fighting in a cycle of depression, give yourself some time''.

So I listened to them today. It's hard to believe, that I will ever say ''Was this me, being afraid of those LITTLE things?'' Yeah, still those little things are like big capital words, I know. In fact it is little for some people, going to school is a daily need. Well, some people might not consider it as a need, or a well-factor of spending the day, but hey, some people really got the motivation to fight for a future and a good job. Who doesn't want to gain money? Or have a fun job, dream job?




For me, it is like a true passion. Learning and getting to know well at school. Good results and know the fact that things are working out. It is a release for me, if I have gotten a good mark, I am deeply honoured just because I know things are finally working out, it might has nothing to do with anxiety but perhaps it might be. Because I'm at school and that is a step, and getting a mark is like a sign of proof that I have stepped into the classroom and sat with a full class.

So, today I'll just relax. I just had a cup a soup and did some breathing exercises. I got the most wonderful relaxation techniques / methods yesterday. My coach is very well understanding and a real empath I would say. I will write about the first session in the next journal, I think this will be helping me so much due to my panic disorder. I'm still stuck in the road, but will not attack the ocean, just let the waves float.

Thanks for reading.

Much love,
Sassy.